Character

I think there is a secret side of me that feels really alone and lonely at times. I mean, I am outgoing, I am friendly, I am fun-loving. But maybe it's the judgemental character that I have innate in me (okay fine I know the boyfriend is going to say character can be moulded) that keeps me from having many good friends. 

Then again, why would you need so many good friends for?

Okay, I know I know, I should be less judgemental if I want to be comfortable with more people. Le sigh. I understand it all but it's just so difficult to change. Boyfriend was whatsapp-ing me today and he was just saying that I am seriously too judgemental for my own good and that people's lives do not revolve around me so I can't expect their actions to be of my liking.

I guess, that's true.. I tend to get annoyed by people's actions. But I honestly think that it's human nature? I think some of my actions may have offended you, but it's just that you don't tell me (okay the "you" here just refers to a person in general who knows me). It's just that I complain to my boyfriend that I don't have close friends here on exchange. And he said, "what do you expect? You should have expected that with your character."

I honestly came with a thinking that I would be able to make close friends here.

I guess I was too naive?

Hmmm, yeah, I think it'd actually take a lot to change my personality but well, I am still gonna try. But I still don't think I will be able to cut down on the whinings and complaining for the next few months. Let's just hope this exchange will shape my character into a more likeable one. 

Maybe secretly all my friends hate me. 

Well, that was a thought that bugged me during my auditing class, and yeah, tears were kinda circling in my eyes. Sucks to have that though. ): Well, if you, who is reading this, hate me, I'm sorry ): 

Bah, only child sucks. Goodbye.